On Facebook Stupidity

Today in Facebook stupidity ...

At the risk of bragging, I have over 1,200 friends on Facebook. Most of them I do no personally. Yes, a few of them are the lame "celeb" ones, but who knows? Maybe Jake Pavelka and I will end up being great friends and sharing our traumas together over coffee.

I normally tend to ignore things that bother me, because Facebook should not be indicative of our "real" lives, for lack of a better term, but two incidents happened in the past 48 hours that put me over the edge.


EXHIBIT A: DUMB POLITICAL ASSHATTERY.

First of all, discussing politics on Facebook, just as in life, is always dicey. I'd be lying if I said I never do it, but all the political stuff I've posted lately has been clips from The Daily Show, because it's not about viewing politics as team sports, but pointing out hypocrisy. And at the risk of another disclaimer, I wouldn't necessarily disown you or hide your updates if you wrote something like "___ greatly disagrees with Nancy Pelosi's latest quote about unemployment benefits", because, whether or not I agree with it, you have nonetheless made an informed opinion, and I can only respect it.

I work at the Mall of America. If you are a racist, it is called the Mall of Somalia. The point is that about 30-40% of my workforce is Muslim. A friend of mine harbors great feelings of bigotry about Islam, but I tend to not overlook it but understand it, because she used to live in Florida and has never had a personal relationship with someone of Muslim origin, and why would she? She reads Glenn Beck as if he's gospel, and according to someone like that, they have all their hands on the detonator.

No, this link that so infuriated came from someone I work with, who, until 48 hours ago, I thought was a really smart girl with a good head on her shoulders. It's not that being conservative or Republican makes you uncool. It's that being an asshole makes you uncool.

She posted a link about how we should be protesting the mosque being built near the World Trade Center, and how it was "insulting and humiliating to every American". Well, I'm an American and I'm not insulted and humiliated by somebody practicing their own religion, as is allowed under the First Amendment of the Consitution of the United States of America. It viscerally upset me. I wanted to comment, I really did, but what good would it have done? I would have started a flame war, and have been told by her friends that I was anti-American and should move to Europe, and bring all the Muslims with me.

So I took the passive-aggressive tact. I was viscerally upset by this link, so I shared it as a status update, and wrote that my opinion would not change hers. "Is this about mine?" she wrote. "We are all entitled to our own opinions. :-) "

And, well, yes, we are, but I hid her from my mini-feed. She's a lovely girl, but when I clicked on her page again (out of morbid curiousity), someone else had commented that they hope the mosque gets blown up. The hypocrisy is astounding, and saddening, and if I think about this anymore I will need a drink of water.

EXHIBIT B: RELATIONSHIPS MAKE YOU DUMBER.

This also involves someone I used to work with at the Mall of America. Maybe going in there makes us lose brain cells.

Anyway, she is in a new relationship, which I do not judge. I do judge when you are on Facebook and after EVERYTHING YOU WRITE is your boyfriend. She will write "I have a headache" and he will write "I'm sorry baby" and she will write "Thank you baby" and he will write "yw baby" and she will write "I took a Tylenol, I feel better" and he will write "That's good baby" and she will write "Thank you baby muah" and he will write "yw baby". This happens about five times a day.

But, still, they're happy, they're in love, it has no effect on my life, so I will pay it no heed.

She posted a profile picture of herself today. It looked lovely. So I commented on it. Jakey wrote LOVELY! in a comment. She wrote "Thank you Jakey".

An hour later I had a friend request from her? But we were friends already? Maybe it was a glitch. I added her back and thought nothing of it. Later that day I got an e-mail from her, explaining that she had cut me as a friend because her boyfriend saw my comment and got jealous, so she felt she had to remove me from her friends list until she explained to him that I am queer as a three-dollar bill. How many straight guys do you know that use the word "lovely" in everyday conversation? Then I again posted a passive-aggressive update about it, got 12 responses, and I think she's cut me for good, because if anyone is going to threaten her relationship, it is my 122 pounds of manly testosterone.

RANT OVER.