The Two Jakes
How to Stop Being a Loser, Step #4: Avoid What Will Make Your Eye Twitch. Namely,
Your Computer.
"If
you have to question whether or not you were in love with someone, then you
never were." Somebody told me that when I was 18. Ironically, he's the
same person that I question myself about on a regular basis.
So
at the risk of being dramatic, I was in love once. He was two weeks older than
me, spoke in a Southern accent with a slight hint of Cajun, and was perfect in
every conceivable way. Not just from a physical standpoint -- although he was
blessed in that department, with sandy blond hair, piercing blue eyes, an
effortless hard body, and a sun-kissed complexion -- but also emotionally and
intellectually. A pre-med at the University of Texas, he could talk smoothly
about anything, and when he would talk about me, I could feel myself
evaporating into disgusting lovesick goo.
Our affair lasted one summer, and despite a
brief reconnection during our winter breaks of school, we drifted apart.
Occasionally, I still smile when thinking of nights when I would bitch to him
about mean people shopping at Walgreens, or my brother hogging the computer,
and he would chuckle and say "Bay-bee", and I just knew that as long
as he was in my life, it wouldn't matter if my own hopes and dreams came true,
so long as I was with him, safe and happy.
Does
any of this sound pathetic yet? If not, let's make it so.
I
met him on the Internet and never once encountered him in real life, and
somewhere, deep in my jaded soul, I will always love him.
I'm
going to be sick.
