2018 Recap Episode
Hello, dear readers! It’s certainly been a while, hasn’t it? I imagined I would just start a brand new blog. Would I call it Loring Park 2.0? Elliott Park? Warehouse District? I write this in my new ninth floor apartment overlooking the North Loop of Minneapolis, where traffic zips by and I feel more Mary Richards-like than ever. There is a “J” above the fridge. Jared stops over every weekend. “Mary!” he cries. “Rhoda!” I cry back and we embrace, discuss the men in our lives, and have nights out on the town.
...Oh, just kidding. Y’know how I moved in with my parents until my tax refund came back? That’s gone. I took out a loan. That’s gone. I can’t have nice things. I’m still with the parents, at 32. Sometimes in order to feel like an adult, I get hotel rooms for the weekend. It doesn’t take a math genius to figure out this is not the way to financial freedom. If only I weren’t such a whore for room service and being called “Mr. Emmert”. I think it’s because I’m always called “ma’am” on the phone, and therefore such a salutation is surprisingly empowering and masculating. The AC Marriott has been my favorite because on the screen it says “Welcome, EMMERT JAKEY” and I can put on YouTube on the big TV and I actually have more fun watching WWE divas and Mariah Carey videos than going out. For a while I forget it’s a hotel and pretend it’s my own apartment, and I am a successful adult with a laptop that works and I didn’t screw everything up and I haven’t been a lovelorn unaccomplished alkie for 10 years.
Sigh.
Anyway, let’s recap my summer not-in-the-city but often-visiting-the-city, shall we?
